It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
