what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
