Duck Duck Cougar?
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
