i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake