in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
