there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
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I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
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Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.