i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..