So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
