it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
