I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
