i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
