I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
