so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize