i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
