That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
