the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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