I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
