so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Farmville is her only friend.
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I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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