Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize