thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
