who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize