His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
