It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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