All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
