My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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