girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
NoShamevember. You game?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
