So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
