My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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