They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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