you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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