I can feel you judging me through the phone.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize