Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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