I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
We had to coat check the pizza.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize