Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
