dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
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