what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
