I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
