The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
