ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
