could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
