I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
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I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
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That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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