That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
