The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I think my moral compass just broke
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