im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
