Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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