how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
