we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
