he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
