Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
