her vagine was all disorganized.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
