It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
