Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
