so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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