Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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