He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
