i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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