He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
