Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
