we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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