I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
