it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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