i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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